This witty guide advises readers to stop playing the stock market or listening to television gurus and instead put their money into dividend-paying, moderate-growth companies that offer consistent returns and minimum risk. Citing statistics that show companies initiating and raising dividends at the fastest rate in 30 years, this analysis declares once-stodgy dividends to be "the next new thing" and provides simple rules for choosing the best stocks, using traditional evaluation tools, reinvesting dividends, comparing stocks and bonds, and building a portfolio. Technical aspects of the stock market are explained in the final pages that include two new chapters and revised statistics as well as academic studies, historic back-tests, examples of real-time performance, and a list of resources for further research.