Excerpt from The Pilgrim and the Shrine: Or Passages From the Life and Correspondence of Herbert Ainslie
'Surely if there be any merit in self-sacrifice, mine will not be overlooked. My motive is no mean one; for-is it not the desire of sparing pain to those I love? So good as they are, too, in all amenities and duties of life, could only this perpetual jar be removed, we should indeed be a happy family. In fact, as far as they are concerned there is but little alloy; for it is little they dream of the gap that actually separates us. Happy in their ignorance, but at what cost to myself is it maintained! And every week the task grows harder. I shrink from all in which they find delight. Their Sunday services and week-day devotions are alike painful to me, till I feel constrained to declare that I will never go to church again.
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